Lost Hope

Rocky beamed will glee, as did we all, when Josh said, “That is enough.”

We were having a lively discussion (again) about who was the best of us when Josh commented about how the greatest among us would be like him, a servant. We barely had time to consider this when Josh turned solemnly to Rocky and started talking about how Satan was going to sift him like wheat.

A hush fell over the room and Rocky’s face glowed red as he began to work up a nervous sweat. Suddenly he blurted out, “I’m ready to go with you to prison and death!” We all echoed Rocky’s sentiment, yet Josh stated that Rocky would deny him three times before the rooster crowed at dawn.

Before we had time to contemplate this, Josh, looking a bit saddened, began to talk about how he had sent us out before. Now thinking about it, when we returned then, we were argu….discussing who was the greatest and Josh brought a child before us to illustrate.

Josh interrupted my thought derailment with a question, “You didn’t take money, or luggage, or even shoes when I sent you out before yet all was provided, correct?”

We all just set there, unsure of what to say or where he was going with this or if he was just asking a rhetorical question.

“But now,” Josh continued, “you need these things. Go ahead, sell your coat and buy a gun if you don’t have one.”

With this, a rush of exhilaration brushed through the room. It was time at long last! The revolution was about to begin! The invaders of our country were about to be thrown out! The corrupt government and the religious scoundrels were about to be overturned! Finally, it was time!

Someone blurted out excitedly, “Look Josh, we have two guns right here!”

But Josh, looking a bit distraught, sighed almost sadly, “That is enough….”

We all just set there a bit confused as Josh stood up to walk out. What did he mean by the two guns being enough? Is that all this coup would take? Was he going to use his powers to end things swiftly? Was he going to call up his Dad to send in his troops?

Or…did he mean something else? Was he tired of that discussion? Was he trying to make a point? Was he telling us to stop thinking that way?

“That is enough….,” That one phrase still echoes heavy in my head and through my heart today.

Once we realized Josh had exited the room, we quickly rose to follow him. It seemed we were all hoping that what Josh meant was that the revolution was about to commence. We followed him by moonlight to one of his normal digs. He stopped us at the entrance to the garden and said, “Pray so you don’t give in to temptation.”

Huh? Was he referencing what we were all thinking? Was he saying that our revolution wasn’t about to start?

Josh walked a bit further and collapsed to the ground. I heard him begin to pray aloud with increasing intensity. He sounded like he didn’t want to lead the revolt. I was jostled back and forth between hope and despair. Was he really who we’d been expecting? Was he the one that was going to lead us into our new golden age? I thought I saw a figure clothed in white with Josh comforting him as he began to pray more earnestly, blood dripping from his brow.

The next thing I remember is Josh poking me and telling me to wake up and pray so that I wouldn’t fall into temptation. Had I really fallen asleep? How long had I been out?

Just then, I saw something that snapped me awake. A crowd was approaching in the dead of night. And of all people, Judy was leading them! Was this reinforcements for the revolt? Had Judy been gathering together our army while we were here? Was this what Josh told him to go do? But then I saw he had priests and their bodyguards with him. Before I could consider what was going on, Judy leaned in and kissed Josh.

“You would betray me with a kiss?” Josh asked as Judy looked away ashamedly. What was going on? Did he give up on Josh leading the revolt? I mean, we all had our doubts, but we would never sell out Josh like this!

Rocky caught wise to what was going on quick. He drew his pistol and fired it from the hip right towards one of the priest’s servants. The bullet ripped the servant’s ear clean off of his head. We all began to search for any weapon we could find. I could hardly believe it myself, the revolution was starting! Finally we would have our revenge for all of those years of being oppressed! Finally we would be able to take back our country at the barrel of a gun—with Josh leading the charge!

“Put you gun away!” Josh exclaimed,  “Don’t you know that those who live by the gun, die by the gun?” We all froze stiff not knowing what to think as Josh reached down, cleaned off the servant’s ear, and reattached it to his head. Josh spoke some more to the priests and bodyguards, but my head was spinning so much that I couldn’t focus on what he was saying.

In the midst of my confusion, Josh responded to their question with a resounding, “I AM he.” The priests and bodyguards all fell to the ground with only that pronouncement! I was startled myself as my hope began to rise again. Perhaps Josh didn’t want us to fight at all but just follow him along as he overthrew those in power and struck down the outsiders by himself.

Before I could finish forming another thought though, Josh was being escorted away in handcuffs. It was then I began to wonder just what his plan was. I had always assumed that he would conquer by force and restore our nation to its’ rightful place. But now…he was walking away shackled…

What was going on?!

As the next few days passed, I could think of nothing else to do but return to my former job. When Josh was captured, we all scattered and it seems we were, fortunately, forgotten about by the authorities.

From what I heard, Josh didn’t have much to say at his trial, and I couldn’t bear to go to the execution. I mean, I didn’t want the soldiers to recognize me or I could have been executed too…and what good would that have done?

Still, I feel…I know…that I failed him—that I should have done more. But what?! Even when we tried, he told us to stay our hand. There had to be something we could have done, but if not with a gun, what? Pray?! Josh did a whole lot of that, and even with all the power he had, he was still executed.

Perhaps I should count myself lucky and just keep my mouth shut and my head down from now on. I can’t possibly see how our world will be changed anytime soon now that Josh is gone….

2 thoughts on “Lost Hope

  1. “I can’t possibly see how our world will be changed anytime soon now that Josh is gone….” And don’t we all wonder that sometimes? My response: one heart at a time. Wonderful, John.


Thoughts and questions are precious ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s