A house is not a home…when you’re not there

“During the time when Israel was deprived of land and Temple, God- according to the traditional criteria-could not compete with other gods, for a god who had no land and could not be worshiped was not a god at all.”

Pope Benedict XVI, Jesus of Nazareth, From the Baptism in the Jordan to the Transfiguration, p.347


Pause thought. There’s another half to that thought that Pope Benedict XVI had, but not      just       quite      yet. When God wakes you up to finish a book, you do it. And this book has been difficult for me to finish. Not because it’s not fantastic, because oh it is. But because it’s savory, and I eat books, fast, some would say (some being my husband) I eat them with my hands like an animal at a table without the use of fork and knife. But no, not this one. I think I’m ready to do a dissertation on it I took so many notes, so many pauses. It didn’t hit me like the light on Paul’s Damascus Road, it came in a long Elijah- like subtle whisper, begging me to read more, begging me to stay.

So 5 am, in the closet, on the floor, tired eyes, ok Lord, hair messy no coffee, I snuck away there like I was about to rob the place. I have been desperate, searching, slap me God do something. I’ll only run to Him. He is my source and my destiny and He likes when I am crazy over Him. And I am crazy over Him.

So when He invited me away with Him I jumped and smiled and I didn’t have to get ready or look my best. He took me, the mess that I was from being awake from my youngest.

“Don’t go back to sleep, don’t go,” it was deep within my soul. I was so ready for a stolen moment, an adventure, even in my closet.

“Finish the book,” He says.

I did. I finished the book. But read every page this time like He was there. And I found treasure, and romance and Him. And it led off with the thought I started with above.

“During the time when Israel was deprived of land and Temple, God- according to the traditional criteria-could not compete with other gods, for a god who had no land and could not be worshiped was not a god at all.”

Oh, I was in it. Drawn in. I felt His pull. My pulls are a knee-jerk let’s go! His;   his are subtle, small, gentle, gliding. Hold my hand and take me. Like a little girl. I was inside that sentence. He was showing me how to be a child, how to be inside what he was showing me. I listened… calm, peaceful. I was with Him yesterday before the Blessed Sacrament in adoration. It was still penetrating my being.

Inside, God was not there. No temple, no land, no place to rest his head. A wanderer, a sojourner. Nothing to look at. Open space and movement. But He, he was still living and breathing. In this closet. Far from Jerusalem. Far from my church. I realized it then. Even in my longing to pray daily in His church, He’s made a space for me, a place for me. I live in God’s house or rather, He’s made His house inside of me.

“It was during this period that the people learned to understand fully what was different and new about Israel’s God, the god of one people and one land, but quite simply God, the God of the universe, to whom all lands, all heaven and earth belong, The God who is master of all…Once again: Israel came to realize that its God was simply “God” without qualification.” (Pope Benedict XVI pp.347-348).

Inside that closet was me and Him and silent worship. It was time away with Him. I had no shrine or offerings but myself. Like St. Peter exclaimed during the transfiguration, I was so overcome and had nothing to say but, “It is so good that we are here.” Sounded more in my mind like a nervous uttering on a first date, but it was all I had. I was in open territory, free, free at 5 am with an invitation from God to read and sit with him. And I could care less if the rest of the world doesn’t understand me.

Are you deprived of land and temple? Space or place? Nowhere to go? Roaming in physicality or even in spirit? In wide open spaces that are just too big? The God of the universe had no place to rest his head, so you are in excellent company! And I’m there with you saying, Yes! Yes! Me too! I am shouting Yes! I have nowhere to go than to Him. Always searching, always traveling, continuously finding my way back to Him. This lover will never leave me, never let me go. We are two hippy purveyors of land, He’s there, He’s always there. Still in love with me.

I write most of my pieces while listening to music. The Holy Spirit leads me to songs that ignite me. I want to share this with you today as you will often see music associated with my pieces. Today, the music is crucial to understanding my piece. It is intended to be listened to while you read through it. I hope you see as deep and wide as I do today. Love you all-




8 thoughts on “A house is not a home…when you’re not there

  1. I love how you love our beautiful God. I thoroughly enjoyed your post. Pope E. Benedict’s book definitely involves sime deep reflection and you captured that so lovingly. Blessings to you and your husband for a Happy New Year filled with Grace. Happy Solemnity tomorrow!, Mary!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, its a precious thing, you know? God leading me to the Catholic church is where I belonged, and I am set to be confirmed this Easter.
      This book really got to me, and frustrated me, and I am learning to breathe.
      God bless you as well in the coming year and Happy Solemnity tomorrow!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I must repeat here for our readers what I said on your blog:

    Wow. What struck me as I read this was in those days, before we had the Spirit, when God lived in a Temple, He had nowhere to rest until His temple was built.

    When Jesus was born, He had nowhere to lay His head except in a feeding trough; there was no room at the inn. And as He traveled in His ministry, He told His disciples He had nowhere to lay His head.

    Yet now, He has planted His home in us. Through Christ, through His death and resurrection, through the giving of the Holy Spirit, He will never be homeless again.

    And we – we will never be apart from Him. And neither of us will never be alone.

    Thank you for this incredible insight.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have had the wonderful experience of “connecting” with you and others in a way that defies logic. Each time the “fit” is natural and perfect. Each time it is like sitting with an old much loved friend – but with only a few written words a few times between us. I call that God. And your post here causes me to think this “connection” is the God who lives within – who is not contained by geography or time – who is not static and sterile. A God with no “physical home” is either nowhere – or everywhere.

    When a connection happens in these blogs, face to face, in passing – less and less I find myself questioning my sanity. More and more I thank my Lord “for being”. Your words here help. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It does defy logic, and I missed you all so much in an indescribable way when I took my spiritual hiatus. But it gave me the clarity to see that we need each their, community, love. We can’t do it on our own own. And we are all connect with the same thread, the God who loves us so. I see the connection as a thread interlacing everyone of us. It’s just beautiful, and like Peter, the only words I have to offer are, It is good to be hear!” I am so awestruck by God.

      Liked by 1 person

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