Don’t need Me. Desire Me.

Originally posted on “just me being curious”: 5th March 2015

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(for someone who desires our prayers)

I came to my daily time with the Lord this morning. And there is a structure, three moments of “rest”, on the way to the verses:

Dear Lord as I come to you today fill my heart and my whole being with the wonder of your presence.
I ask that God, through my freedom may orchestrate my desires in a vibrant loving melody rich in harmony.
I pray for the gift of acceptance and forgiveness.

This morning I asked myself: Would I meet my lover in “this mood” and expect him/her to “make me” love them? … if I showed up and said: “I need you to fill my heart … orchestrate my desires” … make me accept you.” Just what might THEIR response be?

And with thought in mind I came to today’s verses: Lazarus and the Rich Man.

And as I read through this well known passage, He drew me to these two verses:

“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ Luke 19:25-26

And then He whispered “God Shopping, Paul?”

And as I wondered what He meant – He played these “sensory films” with me:

Window Shopping. That retail experience where there is nothing between you and the goods you browse. You can touch them, try them for size, put them back, move on. Repeat (and repeat and repeat). I have heard that some people actually enjoy spending their time this way. Indeed I know people who spend the whole day doing that.  And when you ask: “What did you get?”, they calmly say: “Nothing.”

Relationship Shopping. That overnight experience in the same bed where there is nothing between you and your partner but a bad mood. You can touch them, you can cuddle them, you can get “over it” (whatever it is you can’t get over). But you stay one side of the bed, and they stay the other. Nothing between you both but a chasm of emptiness. I have done that quite a few times. In a huff and a grump – with a seething expectation that “they” make the first move.

God Shopping. That lifetime experience of having a relationship with God Soft Hands Jesus without ever touching each other. That miniscule chasm of everything.  In a relationship of “knowing about” rather than “knowing”.  Nurturing a relationship of “toenail worship” rather that the “worship of desire”.  Denying the reality of a relationship based on “Come on God – prove yourself – make me love You – make me need You.”

I used to do that without even realising I was.  That’s how we are taught to pray, taught to love, taught to “relate” with God: from a reverent distance.

This morning He whispered, and kept on whispering:

“I can do as much heavy lifting as needed – except I don’t need – Love does not need.

Look across “the bed” … across “the chasm” – there is no “heavy lifting” Paul.  There is only an imaginary distance that you place between us.  You make Me an imaginary friend – a Holy Reverent Imaginary Friend on a Pedestal.  And this distance between us is a figment of your imagination – that is why YOU allow such a burden, a cross, a hard path, a weight on YOUR  shoulders.

I have no need to lift that from you – and nor should you.  Because need is Fear – and need is Guilt – and need is a Burden.  That is why Love never Needs.  Love only Desires.

Please don’t let your “imagination of what is right and proper” come between us.  I died for you all.  And now you all “kill Me” again and again when you need Me “up there” on your pedestal.

 I Desire You! I always have and I always will.

Remember, the time you have for sowing is but a short season – and the time “for knowing” is also short.  What you sow now – you reap for eternity.

Please don’t need Me …  please just Desire Me.”


Taken from “Lazarus and the Rich Man”:
Luke 16:19-31

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